The Battleground of Love

Everyone in life, at some point, has given more than they've gotten from a love interest.

More than likely, we've all been in the position of falling in love with someone we can't have or have confessed our feelings to someone who just doesn't feel the same way.

It's incredibly painful and it sucks, massively.

It's a feeling of immense hurt deep within your chest, as well as the embarrassment and shame that comes along with it. We feel stupid, rejected, horrible and this may even turn into a toxic downward spiral of comparison and self-hatred. But, it's nothing to feel bad about. You have done nothing wrong so you shouldn't feel bad. This is not an experience where the lesson to learn is about all of your wrong doings and short comings; it's a lesson about something far greater and much more positive. You should be proud of yourself.

If you are ever in a circumstance where somebody makes fun of you for confessing your feelings, remind yourself that you are incredibly brave and more so than the person in question. If anyone mocks you, remind yourself that those people are nasty and not people who deserve your time or deserve you to feel bad about yourself. You are one hundred times better than someone who makes people feel that way, take no notice. F**k them. Blast them a gazillion miles away with your negative energy blaster.

You were brave, a lot braver than the majority of people. Ego stops people from putting themselves in vulnerable situations and with something as complex as love, vulnerability is inevitable.

This is the first lesson.

You should be proud, you took a huge risk, despite the odds and you got your answer one way or another. There is no need for you to run and hide away in shame or embarrassment. It might not have been the answer you desired, however you still took a huge leap of faith to make something happen you wanted. You showed the ability to aim for something you wanted. Something which many people of all ages struggle to do throughout their lives on a daily basis. They're afraid to fail so, they never take the shot and why? Because they're victim to their ego.

Imagine if David Beckham never played his first match for fear of losing, or Muhammad Ali turned down his first fight. They would have succumb to their fears, which really aren't as life and death as they may have anticipated them to be. After all, our fears only hold the power we give to them. Fear will eat away at you the more you allow it to consume you, by restricting your actions you fuel the fear fire.

You'd have never known your answer if you hadn't of had the confidence, willpower and drive to have asked in the first place. You were able to quiet your ego, which not many people can do and take your shot. You were magnificent, and as a strong believer in Karma, life works in mysterious ways.

Maybe the next person they confess their feelings too won't be as accommodating either and may even mock them. Life's a bitch at times you know. We attract what we project and what goes around comes around in one form or another.

Now, sometimes accepting something isn't for us or just isn't meant to be is one of the hardest parts of life.

Just because one door is locked doesn't mean the entire corridor is. Just because a door isn't available today, doesn't mean it won't ever be available. Plus, there's bound to be more options, "plenty more fish in the sea" they say. There will be other doors with better destinations, destinations you couldn't have even imagined, both good and bad and you won't know until you enter them.

If you continue to harness your ability to quiet your ego and take the risk, you can achieve anything you desire in life.

So really, who's going to get further in life? Those who laugh at others for taking a chance or those who have the guts to take the chance in the first place?

You aren't expected to know whether you'll succeed or fail so, don't be too hard on yourself if you take a chance and it doesn't go according to plan. Shrug it off, be proud of yourself and then ask "What's the lesson here?"

Always focus on the lesson to be learned.

Not only celebrating the fact you're one of the very, very limited few who can put their ego aside, but also ask what can you take from this experience to help you on your journey?

Maybe you question whether this person and their friendship group is the type of people you want to be around?

People who laugh at others during their most vulnerable are usually very toxic and probably have some deep-routed issues themselves because honestly, we all have issues and whether we choose to admit them or not is whether we overcome them or not. These issues often come out in the way we treat others and admittance is another example of where silencing the ego is key in order to progress. You're already capable of silencing your ego at times, so you should feel sorry for these people who try to bring you down because they aren't able to silence theirs.

Maybe you realised the person in question wasn't all you imagined them to be once you had taken off your lovestruck glasses?

That's totally fine. Sometimes people are blinded by love and I guess, you should be thankful that you got out whilst you could and are enable to move on to find something better. The lesson here being, sometimes love can blind us from seeing the truth.

Maybe it took this rejection to direct you into the true pathway which is meant for you?

Why not go out for a feel-good ice cream and maybe you'll "mysteriously" bump into someone new who sparks your interest as a friend? Or binge-watch your favourite show and be surprised by who slides into your DM's when you're least expecting it. Maybe use your time to channel your energy into taking up a new hobby that makes you feel better and meet a bunch of new people with the same interests?

I tend to find romance does come when you're least expecting it, but ensure that you're in the right mindset before pursuing with someone new. It is easy to project past problems onto current situations and there's nothing worse than using someone to make someone else jealous. Or even, using someone to get over someone else. That's not the type of vibe we need in this world, just like we don't need those who laugh during others vulnerability.

So, you have to be brave.

You have to go into the experience like it was the first time all over again, with no ulterior motives. With a pure and brave heart. It's a huge ask, I know. But you have to be brave because you don't want to add any more problems into the world or hurt people they way they hurt you. You should remember, hurt people hurt people. So if you're feeling the urge to hurt someone to make yourself feel better or "more in control", you should spend some time exploring your feelings and why you feel this way before moving on. There's enough crap in the world without being selfish enough to add more too it.

Love shouldn't be a battleground and people shouldn't be crap but sometimes, people refuse to acknowledge their own problems and so, they often get projected into relationships meaning innocent people get hurt for no reason. You have to try and break the cycle, for the sake of the world. For the sake of humanity and for the sake of not letting someone be hurt the way you were.

Be kind, not bitter.

It's really important to understand yourself, understand what healing you need to do and to be kind always because then you can help reduce cruelness in the world which leads some people to commit suicide because they're unable to cope or because of their surroundings.

Unfortunately, I have lost friends and perhaps you too, due to toxic relationships. I've had my own experience with extremely toxic relationships, but I have gown to forgive the people who hurt me and channel the energy into ensuring I never hurt anyone the way I was hurt.

It takes the bravest, boldest, amazing-est person to love like they've never been hurt before and I believe you have it in you.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

Peace and Love xx